1. If you mention, casually, in conversation, that you're a standup comedian, you just ruined your ability to amuse me.
2. If you want to know what I really think, give me a shot of whiskey and a beer.
3. If you're out for a walk dressed in all white, go ahead and swing your arms vigorously above your head, it's expected of you!
4. Wait, is that's guy's actual name Tío, or is he just your uncle?
5. If you're going to flirt with the bartendress who's one quarter your age, at least do it quietly.
6. Go ahead and fart whenever you like! It's natural, really.
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