France and Switzerland swallowed whole by Langoliers

The science world was shocked this morning as the £5 billion Hadron Collider was turned on ripping the fabric of space and time and releasing creatures from another dimension into the European Union.
“It was horrible,” said Hans Volschmay, one of the only survivors of the extra-dimensional attack. “There was an explosion right after we turned on the machine, and suddenly all these creatures came flying into the control room. There was blood everywhere. I watched all my friends have their entrails ripped from their bodies, devoured in front of their eyes, and then torn limb from limb.”
Authorities have announced that the creatures are most likely Langoliers, creatures described only in the Stephen King novella published in 1990. “They were clam like, with large, razor sharp rows of shark teeth,” said Interpol Secretary-General Ronald Noble. “They made a horrible humming noise, and while they didn’t turn Switzerland and France into an awful void of nothingness, they did eat people, cars, machinery, and just about everything else they came in contact with except dirt and rocks.”
EU officials are working frantically to figure out how to deal with the inter-dimensional threat. “Based on survivor reports in both France and Switzerland, we estimate there may be 25,000 of these creatures ravishing the countryside,” said Nicolas Sarkozy, acting President of the European Union Council. “We are doing everything we can to find out how to kill these creatures in order to stop them before they kill us all.”
Unconfirmed reports say that Mr. Sarkozy and his wife were both eaten aboard their private plane shortly after trying to escape from France.
The Hadron Collider, operated by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN), was originally built to recreate conditions shortly after the big bang. In order to accomplish this, a 17-mile circular track of over 1,000 cylindrical magnets was built to steer two proton beams in opposite directions at the speed of light. When the beams crossed paths, monitors were to record the collision of protons and the creation of sub-atomic particles that could have provided insights into the nature of the universe.
Opponents and critics of the project worried that black holes could accidentally be created by the Collider, sucking the entire planet as well as the galaxy into oblivion.
“Those goddamn scientists were wrong! And so were the critics!” screamed Lars Verdugo, physicist employed part time with CERN, in a final phone interview from Champagne, France. “Sons of bitches! One of those creatures has just taken my leg! Oh god! OH GOD! NOOO……”