The precise moment she stopped loving me

[CHOMP]

[chew chew chew chewchewchewchewchewchewchew chewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchew...chew]

[SWALLOW]

[BITE]

[chewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchew chewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchew]

[SWALLOW]

Did you read this article about Obama? He’s blah blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblah…

[CHOMP]

[chewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchewchew]

[WIPE MUSTARD FROM MOUTH WITH BACK OF HAND]

… mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble …

[SWALLOW]

… but he never blah blah blahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah

[BITE]

[chewchewchew...chew...chew]

What?

[chew chew chew … chew chew … chew]

Is there something on my face?

[chew chew chewchewchew]

[SWALLOW]

What are you typing?